It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
