No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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