Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
