It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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