I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
