Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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