she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
