So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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