I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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