I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
