What did we do last night that was yellow?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
