the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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