Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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