thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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