shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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