At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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