The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
