As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
