Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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