sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
