What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
