You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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