I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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