He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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