cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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