im gay
i know
yea but for you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
