Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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