You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
