I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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