I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
