his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
