I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize