then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
