well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
