I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
