that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my shit smells like andre
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
