Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
