I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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