I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
