Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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