hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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