do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
