plz talk dirty to me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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