You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
