What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
