So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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