I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We need to rekindle our bromance
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
