she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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