One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
