I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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