Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
