My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
