I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
