Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
